Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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