One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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