i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm getting married
To pizza
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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