so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize