You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
