so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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