i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
