At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
