using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
