After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize