would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
