The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
