Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
