Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize