glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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