Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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