You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
