You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
