I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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