Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
