Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
