ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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