that's an acceptable place to lick
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
