he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize