She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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