Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
