You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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