Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
she smelled like a LAN party
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
