Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
