if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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