when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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