they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
