you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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