Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm too high and old for this...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
