How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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