I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
