As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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