jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
