I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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