Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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