Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
