he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
