Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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