I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
That's intense
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
