do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
