either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
