Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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