Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
