I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
