It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
