Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
