Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
