Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize