i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
