he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
my sisters under your porch take her home
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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