We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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