listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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