These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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