She announced her abortion via fbk
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize