I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He felt like a one man threesome
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
