at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize