I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
