A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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