hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
