oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Randomize
