So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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