I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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