I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
