What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
