I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize